See, I’ve got this habit of being unable to fully appreciate the moment—in the moment.
Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s special and deserves savouring. But I’m a sensitive soul.
What can I say?
I get too preoccupied with everything else going on.
God knows what it was this time—maybe my heart rate spiked because of a heavy vehicle tearing past wildly on the main road nearby.
Or someone shrieking in the distance, or both.
Or—oh great!
‘seriously, what’s he bogging at now?’
Caught someone staring at my goofy grin and got self-conscious…
I know I shouldn’t care, but it sort of threw me off.
So, I just snapped this photo and carried on, taking to walking the length of the rocky beach instead.
It felt way less awks than just staying put.
And besides, by that point, I was hyper-aware of the fact that I had to stay present, to stay present.
If there’s such a thing as toxic mindfulness—this would be it!
But now I’m lying in bed. No distractions. No one, just me and this little memento.
And I’m thinking: maybe there are no “should-haves.” I mean, no one really questions why the waves roll this way or that.
Maybe it isn’t a habit; maybe it’s just the way I roll.