Change is the master of surprises, uprooting things and yelling “Plot Twist” at a moment’s notice. One minute, you’re sipping coffee, cackling wildly like a banshee; the next, you’re blubbing uncontrollably because one of your besties has swanned off to another country—with a guy. (Oops 🙋🏾♀️), And the other is knee-deep in nappy cream. Yep, that’s life. But never mind, for in the chaos of these unexpected twists, there’s a guiding light to keep your friendships plain sailing. So, if you’re trying to keep your tribe together riding the wave of change together too, here are 4 tips on how to navigate and maintain friendships through new loves, countries, and new additions. 👶
Embrace the C-Word!
First things first, make peace with the fact that the only constant in life is change. I let that sentence roll off my tongue, and tbf I scowled when my mum first said it to me. Much as I hate to admit it, she’s right. And though it’s not always easy to accept, you want to know what’s harder? Resisting. 😤 Life transitions are basically the C-word. (nope! Not that one). Change. Now let’s move on to the first tip that’ll help make those twists just less terrifying uncomfortable. So, imagine your bestie has found a new love and suddenly you’re getting less attention, it’s not about you. It’s that’s ruddy C-word! C – h- ange. An important fact to remember is: happiness is something we all want. Sure she might not be scoping you out for your solo travel tips anymore, but, she might need your fashion advice or your amazing roast dinner recipe! You get the gist! Embracing change isn’t just about acceptance. Nope. It’s about celebrating your besties joy. Yep, your role in their life may dance to a new beat, but the same ol’ bond you share remains. Food for thought: Have you ever considered that maybe Life’s Plot Twists are the universe’s way of telling you to upgrade your role in the story?
ME: Sipping on bitterness with a side of FFS! #PLOTTWIST
Shift into Your New Friend Roles
Plot twists often come with new roles—the blogger, the jet-setter, the new (cat) mum, or the aspiring tik-tok dancer. Now, imagine this: I’m as spontaneous and random as they come; you should hear all the voice notes I send (well, maybe not all of them). As a friend, that’s your role! You’re not just a passive sidekick; you’re a dynamic superhero. So, put on your cape and get ready to adapt. If you’re unsure, start by offering blogging tips, share parenting hacks, or get them to send you videos of them practising their new moves. If they faff things up, laugh with them and offer your help. At least this is what my friends did with me after a disastrous job interview I had. It really takes the sting out of things. Long story short, the interviewer said, “best wishes” like she was signing off on a Christmas card, accompanied with a smile as I walked out. Unfortunately, I had to wait for the lift. For an age. So we just stood staring awkwardly at each other until the lift arrived. 🙈 “Best Wishes” is now one of our friendship phrases when things go embarrassingly wrong. 😂 Of course, you’ll need to read the room when it comes to laughing. After all, this post isn’t, ‘How to Lose Friends During Life Plot Twists!‘ To their credit, after howling at me. They did send me tips and practised job interviews with me on Facetime. But see! Who knew friendships could be this multi-talented?
THEM: ‘Awwww he miaowed!’ *sends pic no. 70578998*
ME:
Send Hugs, Not Crickets
Since you’ve made it here, lets talk about something important: Empathy, especially during challenging times. I say this because I remember experiencing a tough breakup. What made it harder was the deafening silence from the people I thought were friends. I’m bringing this up because I feel like it’s super important to lift others up. Even more when they’re feeling blue. I understand that sometimes people feel uncomfortable, struggle to find the right word or think leaving others alone is best. But it’s helpful to shift that focus away from you, to being there for your friends. So, let’s talk about being kind and just being human, shall we? (Near and afar) When your friend is going through a life shake-up, send hugs, not crickets. And yes I hear that you may not be able to change their situation. Sometimes just knowing you’re in someone’s thoughts is enough to change their whole day around. 💟 No grand gestures needed, by the way. A heartfelt letter, a quirky postcard, or even a voice note can act as virtual cuddles. Bonus points if your “gift” has more warmth than the sunshine you left them behind for 😅 In a world full of stiff upper lips, be THAT friend who delivers virtual hugs. Your ‘thought’ could can be the anchor they didn’t know they needed.
Laughter Therapy: Prescription-Free (and Works!)
I know, I know I got a bit deep there, so let’s end with something lighter! Laughter, as they say, is the best medicine – especially in the realm of plot twists. Let’s face it; we are all prone to mistakes, after all we’re only human. Laughter, like a well-timed joke or a goofy story, lightens the load of change, and who better to share those moments with than your besties? With all these comings and goings, maybe you haven’t had the chance to create new memories in person, yet? Dont you worry! Ive mentioned a bit already, but thanks to our smartphones, we can still crack jokes, share embarrassing photos, and reminisce about the hilariously awkward moments we’ve experienced together in real time That always does the trick. Now, don’t get me wrong, nothing beats face-to-face love sessions with your friends. It’s a start though. And, makes for a great substitute when you’re countries and babies apart! In the realm of friendships, laughter becomes the bridge that connects past memories with present moments, creating a unique bond even when you’re (physically) miles apart.
💭Final Thoughts
Before I go, I want to leave you with some final thoughts. I know change can seem like a spanner in the works when it comes to us girlies. But good friends, your tribe, are hard to find. So when one scarpers, the other one is loved up and in another country or just snowed under with work and or babies. Stuff the life plot twists and use these tips to make your friendships work. After all, isn’t the beauty of friendship revealed not just in the smooth chapters but in the unexpected plot twists that make the story uniquely yours? ✨️